I sure did. Whether I gave up on sobriety, writing this blog, a relationship, a gym membership or even something as simple as learning to cook. I kept consistently giving up. My life experience, up until last year, had been fueled and lavished in a dream world of substances within the restaurant industry. I coasted through my career in an industry that accepted my behavior, or so it seemed. I never took anything seriously, I just drifted. So when it comes to “giving up”, the big one was getting and staying sober. Tried those shoes on so many times I wore the fucking soles out of em. The vicious cycle over and over. All that effort just to give up. Abandoned hope. Lost in a sea of guilt and shame only to sleep, eat, work, rinse, repeat. Although now, there is no work in that equation. Now we sit here in our own space and time, locked away from the world that put us here. Standing face to face with who we’ve been hiding from, ourselves. The shadow that follows us to every corner of the room and now we stand still only with it. The saving grace is that we are blessed with choice. Choice can set us free. Choose to face that shadow and heal the little one hiding within it or… give up?
You can give up on a cooking class and not think twice. You can give up on a hopeless relationship and never look back. You can give up on writing a blog and never say a word. You can give up on sobriety and go back to being a victim. Or… you can embrace this time to come from out behind your shadow. Heal the little one hiding within the darkness. Take your power back. Now is the time for you to see how beautiful you truly are. I may not know how to cook, I still may be single and I am only just beginning this blog, but I can say I never gave up on myself, on sobriety. There is hope. There is support. There is so much love.