I ask myself this question every time I attempt to write one. I know there is a reason. I know there is a point. It came about because my life, like so many others, has been one of substance abuse, excessive drinking, smoking weed, cigarettes and very good parties. All surrounded by some of the most epic people on the planet. I once played glow in the dark bocce ball on Ketamine somewhere in NZ. I’ve danced with the stars on acid, I’ve done blow off pretty much any surface you can imagine. I started young. Probably why the industry welcomed me with open arms. It was fun. I was fun. I could tell stories that would have you instantly question my morals. So.. Why This Blog?
Well, enough was enough. The party was over. The music turned off. Lights turned up. All I was left with was my questionable morals and one hell of an addict identity. I knew this life was spinning out of control. I lost 4 jobs because of using at work. 4 in a row. Yikes. That was a serious wake up call. What’s a girl to do? The beautiful freedom of choice. I could choose to continue down the rabbit hole, only ending up somewhere even worse off, dark, lonely, more addicted or I could face my traumatized little girl and do something about it. So I did. I asked for help and started the long journey of self discovery. I started looking deeper than what was perceived on the exterior and throughout this journey came to realize perhaps I am not fighting this alone.
Why This Blog? For that exact reason. I am not in this alone. In my 23 years of restaurant shenanigans I met some of the most incredible, kind, fun, loving people on the planet, yet a lot of them paid the price as well. For most of us, just admitting we’re fucked up can leave us feeling vulnerable and ashamed. Facing the truth of the reality we live in every day is terrifying. I would like to use this blog as a reminder that it doesn’t have to be terrifying. It is a reminder that if I can do it, so can you.
This blog does not judge. It is a space to remind us that we are not alone and no matter how dark the shadow, there is always light available to help you come out from behind it.